So, from the history that I have encountered I was taught in the days of slavery marriage was a "tool" used by the people to show love, celebration, as well as true commitment to the person they wanted to spend a lifetime with. It was the joining of two souls in the eyes of GOD; no matter the particular age they were. It was the grandest of occasions.Let's move forward to present time. I was recently speaking to a young lady who said that she knew of a couple who did it the "right way." That sentence stuck with me for a week before I begin to write this article. Her reference of the right way was meaning that a couple she knew of had gotten married, settled into their careers, and then had children. Seems like a folk tale these days to hear of such a thing...marriage/commitment? These days that seems more like a sin rather then the joyous occasions that it should be.

Now, the question is what is the root of the thinking behind this? What is the cause of men, and women not wanting to settle down and find that one person? Is it a sense of fear? Is it a feeling that they'd be "missing out" on something or someone? I could continue on with questions but for each question we as a people need to find an answer. There are no results without hard work, dedication, and stepping out on of faith. Because behind this question is a partial answer as to why our homes these days are ran by a single parent.

They say everyone isn't "built" for marriage. Well lets dig into that statement. What does it take to be built for marriage? I believe (in my opinion) that it starts wit each person first placing trust in another. Yes, I said the word trust. Trust something that was broken by our parents as kids or some other family members. That first boy/girlfriend who said there would be no one but you, and in time you came to find that there were others. Trust is the founding father of a commitment, love, and a life tailored for forever. But in the days we are living in this is one of the hardest concepts that we have to face. Where can we go to obtain it? No there is no grocery store that sells it. It has to be developed. The person inside of you must be open to receiving trust for another person. That road is not easy to travel but, if you do not allow it you can NEVER move forward.

Is the fact that you can have sexual relations and not need nor want more from a person play a part? I believe it does. Let's look back into biblical times. You were considered "scum", "whore", or indecent for sexual encounters out of wedlock. Both sexes have found it very easy for consensual sex to occur. This in its unprotected state has led to sexual transmitted diseases, as well as children having children. the thoughts of building a family has seemed to disappear. It is said that 43% of American marriages are ending in divorce. In the world the divorce rate is at 37%. So as they say numbers don't lie. Nothing is easy, nothing doesn't need work. I guess it is easy to walk away rather then stay and fight it out. I too have been a victim of the easy way out. I too have been part of that 43% in our country. Maybe we should relive The Scarlet letter. Let us all pin a red A on our chest to show our indiscretions. No, I know no one will put themselves out there like that. Yes I know it is no ones business right. That assessment is correct. But it is your business to want to do an, be better for yourself. Love isn't sex, sex isn't love. Making love occurs when you find the person you love , and you two want to share your body's with one another.

I am not advocating that you who are reading this should just go out and get married. Nor am I advocating that you should only date one person. You have your own life to live. I am saying there are old customers in which we have "ditched" for our own selfish reasons.We should indeed get back to living in a way of our past family in order to find some type of order for the future we evolve in.

"You can not understand the future you hope to live with out first know the past in which has already died" -Martin Luther King Jr. Follow @authorcwilliams on Twitter to stay tuned for upcoming articles.